Today I met a lovely lady who had a story to tell about her parent’s divorce.  They divorced when she was 5.  She is now 30.  When did they stop fighting? When did they stop putting her in the middle?  When their grandchild was being born.  Not just the year, but that moment. 

She explains that as she lay in labor, her mother sat to her left, and her father sat to her right.  Her husband was in the middle.  Her parents were taking potshots at each other as always.  That is why her husband had strategically placed himself in the middle. 

She could have just had one of the parents there, but that would mean she would have to choose one over the other.  She could have chose to have neither of them there, but she craved both of their support. 

So there they were, but still bickering.  Until, thru the pain, she finally yelled what she has been waiting to yell since age 5. “STOP IT.  JUST STOP IT.”

Maybe they finally figured out what they had been doing.  And what they were doing at that very moment…they had not been able to set aside their differences at one of the most important times of their daughter’s life. 

Maybe a light bulb went off.  Maybe they needed someone to call a truce for them.  But whatever it was, they figured out how to be co-grandparents.  And quit bickering.  Quit saying things bad about the other.  And had now maintained that peace for their grandchildren’s sake. 

 My goal would be that your child never has to be in the middle so long.